I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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21

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Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer was depressed about the low business and farmer's economy, so he poured gasoline all over himself and lit a match. The barn burned down and the chicken was the only survivor.

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a black man is chasing a white man,, "sir you dropped your wallet'!!

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A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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What did the taxi driver say when the black man got in to his taxi? Where to sir?

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If woman that have big breasts work at Hooters, then do woman with one leg work at Ihop?

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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A sociopath and his neighbors dog. He got one of those huge dogs the other day, and it took a crap on my lawn, so I put up a wanted poster 50000 dollars Wanted Dead Or Alive, and that dog smells and bites... It did not work, so I took my neighbor out hunting, I shot his dog, "Said sorry I thought it was a moose" He replied "did you have to shoot at him 15 times?" "I replied, I am out of ammo, but if you can borrow me some I can land a few extra..." Asshole got another dog, so we went out duck hunting, he asked me why I brought a hand grenade... "Land ducks, dog shaped non flying land ducks" Also I stole his office nametag and got naked and sat on a random office at his workplace and jacked off to porn, his boss showed up and said "Mr. Asswhipe, just because this is your office you are not allowed to get naked and uh... Watch... Uh private stuff here okay? I smirked and said "Dont worry Boss, its not my office!" I used glue to glue his nametag to my chest okay? He got yet another dog, I shot my neighbor, his dog starved to death, his wife was mourning and bought two dogs to comfort her. Thats okay, I just picked up both chiguguas at once and broke their neck in a single stroke, then I set fire to her house... The wind spread it on to mine... Fuck... I shot her and took her place, its the same as mine basically, just that there is a dead bitch I can fuck... I mean the woman, you think I am pervert or something? Besides you know... They are chiguguas, I mean i tried its... Its just not... You know... HEY RELAX THEY WHERE BOTH FEMALE OKAY? AND NO NOTHING FIT ANYWHERE SO I HAD TO CUT THEM OPEN AND... Moral of the story: Do not shoot the dog! Poor innocent animal! shot the owner, and then the poor innocent animal! NeroMetal, not the fucker that stole my moral system and name to make this site into some fucking cult thing... I do not cult, I you know... Kids... Dogs... Women... (I love them you fucking sicko) I give them candy (candy being my cock yeah you fellow sicko)

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Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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Why did the black man go to prison? He committed a crime that had a penalty of several years in the state penitentiary.

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A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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