Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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What do astronauts do if the want a party? They planet

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ GONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZGONZALEZ

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops