A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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I had a submarine.... once

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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