Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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You know what's a joke? Something Funny

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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