Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

What's worse than finding an apple in your worm? Lebron traveled

What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

A Jew, a black guy, and a redneck are walking down the street because their car broke down a few miles back.

Q. Name six animals that live in the north pole A.Four polar-bears and two penguins

A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

1 out of 4 questions. How do you get a girrafe in a fridge? Open it, put the girrafe in, and close it.

why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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