Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A moose walks into a food store. He asks the lady working there where the potatoes are. She says "go down aisle 5.'' he goes down aisle 5 and there arent any potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQOOJDIOOJIOAJWIODJOIAWJDIAJDOINWXIndiopwhenruioewfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJDDDDDDMMMMMMMMMMCCCCCCCCCCCJJJJJJJJJJJJSWKKKKKKKKKKKKKWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUWBUWBWUBWUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUWBU

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops