speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

thumb_up thumb_down +5

alex is cool

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +5

theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Tim: You wanna hear an anti-joke? Billy: Yes! Tim: Okay, I've got one for you Billy: Let's hear it! Tim: 1

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Dakota Fanning

thumb_up thumb_down +5

don't just stand there

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops