so an apple walks into a bar... I'm terrible at making jokes...

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died from chlamydia.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

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L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

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Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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A man walks into a bar Ouch

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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