Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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