What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

A kid a jew and a child molester walk into a room . what happens next? Nothing there in a room.

Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

9/11 my birthday

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

Leading a hike.. Kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans him up? Bear.

How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...