A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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