Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

Poker face

What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

Why did the basketball team from Detroit win the youth championship? Because they had a good coach amd dedicated, hard-working players.

Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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