Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

What is yellow and bright? The sun.

reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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