You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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