A American, a Brit and a Mexican decided to bet on who could tell the funniest joke. The one that won told a great joke indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

thumb_up thumb_down -29

My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -31

every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops