what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

thumb_up thumb_down -29

someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

thumb_up thumb_down -29

roy g biv

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I had a really great joke to tell you!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

No!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

HEY!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

thumb_up thumb_down -31

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops