Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

Poop

How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

What's worse than being fat? Being gay

why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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