Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is holocaust victim's favorite food? Hamburgers.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

thumb_up thumb_down +4

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Transformers: Shadow of the Dark Risen Monday. The Autobots starring in more explosions, more random fighting! Zero narrative nor explanations! One constant explosion trough the whole movie! But do not worry! Did you believe that the final battle versus Optimus Prime and his evil Dimensional counterpart Optimal Evilus would be the ones fighting at standing at the end? NO! This is far more exciting! 16 year old Nick is seeking the love of his life in the 42 year old grandmother Mirabella Torres, and ends up proving his love by pushing the button that instantly kills Optimal Evilus`s ultimate form Evilus Supreme! "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Honest reviews. "Yeah we love it that part where Optimus Prime forgets who is fighting and beats the shit out of Jazz and his totally non racist MonkeyBot Obamabus, seriously, this needs to die" Transformers lovers. "You gotta love that scene where Megatron starts blowing up his own allies because explosions!" Transformersmoviefans.com. "So why did Optimus Prime refuse to kill his Evil dimensional brother thing? I mean he was from another dimension, why did he go around like "NO HE IS MY BROTHER IN SOME DIMENSION! YOU MUST INSERT THE SPARK INSIDE ME DEEP INSIDE ME NICKY! DEEPER!" People Magazine. "So this time they just made the Decepticon`s weakness a button so small only a human can push it huh?" People... Just people. "MY EAAAAAAAAARSSSS!" MICHAELBAYGAVEMEPTSD.ORG. Moral: Wow it says skynet is watching all the time now at solvemedia, unexpected considering the first thing I posted was the terminator XXXV thing. So, is it some sort of easter egg feature? I mean I would not believe myself if someone told me that.... Which is actually what makes this kinda creepy...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops