Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

What do you call a black guy surrounded by a gang of white guys? I don't know, maybe if you asked him his name you would find out.

What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

What's just not right? Left

Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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