Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

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whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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