How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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