- Anti Joke

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

What's the deal with airline food... It has to be packaged and prepared in such a way large quantities of people can eat the meal with minimal preparation, which results in lower quality. If you don't like it, order a drink from the cart.

Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

Anything involving women..

A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

I'm Coming

whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

If black guys really have big packages, why are there standards so low, they prefer fat girls? I don't know, but prejudice and racism is wrong dickhead.

I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

The doctor told a man he had aids. He told his friends he had AIDS so his friends wouldn't sleep with his wife after he died.

roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

A muslim paints Mohammed

whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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