What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

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Jane asked her husband why he was crying, he replied "Because i have extremely agressive cancer" hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....Cancer

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What do you say to a rock? Meow

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Why did the black guy seem so black next to a white guy? Because he had more melanin in his skin

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't, you're either just racist or unobservant.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

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What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops