Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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Saggy Nipples By chan chan

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Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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What is worse than seeing a pile of dead minorities? Dropping a dollar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops