- Anti Joke

Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 was having illicit sexual relationships with 9, of which 6 knew about, but was afraid to inform his wife, 8, who 7 stepped over to get to 9.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

What colour is chocolate? Brown.

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

What is 33 + 1? Penis

A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

Manchester City

whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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