What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

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What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

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What did the math teacher get after he ate and he ate? A full stomach.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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What was the prostitute's favorite number? 68

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Jack Stevens

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what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

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I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

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What was Tiger (from Whinnie the Pooh) looking for in the toilet? Pooh

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops