people magazine

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

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Why did the plane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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Why bouriquet laugh ? cause hes mom get hit by a bus.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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Q. What happened to the kid with 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 arm and 1 leg A. He had a seisure, then got hit by a bus

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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