what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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What was the prostitute's favorite number? 68

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? .The Police The Police who? ..The Police The Police who? ...The Police The Police who? ....The Police The Police who? .....The Police The Police who? ......The Police The Police who? .......The Police The Police who? ........The Police The Police who? .........The Police The Police who? ..........The Police The Police who? Forget this. *Gunshot*

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops