A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get mowed down by a tractor

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why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

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What's blue and looks just like water? Water.

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Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

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feminists.

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Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

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69

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Englishman jumps off the cliff. The American also jumps off the cliff. He is followed by the Frenchman. Suicide and depression are major problems in today's world regardless of nationality.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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