How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

whats 1 + 1? 2

*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

I don't like Holocaust jokes. Anne Frankly they offend me,

Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

Why was the man sad? His wife left

Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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