Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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you...

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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