What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Fat people

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Q: Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a black guy on a bike? A: Because he could sustain serious injury if a rock hits him in the head, not to mention it is extremely rude.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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A man gets kicked in the testicles... Ow

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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why did winnie the pooh have his head in the toilet,? it was clogged.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? I don't know... That action was so barbarous that it freaked me out, and I was no longer in the vicinity of the area. Since I don't have supersonic hearing, I couldn't pick up anything they were saying...

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops