How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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this website even though its hilarious.

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Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

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What do you call a black garbage man? A garbage man

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

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What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops