How did my grandparents survive the Holocaust? Well for starters, it helps that they weren't Jewish, they didn't live in Europe, and quite frankly, they probably would have supported Hitler because they were right wing pricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the best thing about dating a slut? You can return her at Build-a-Hoe Workshop.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the girl start crying? Her pet sunflower had just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the big pickle say to the little pickle? "I'm black."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What should you do if you are being chased by a black man. keep running and if he tag's you, then you should try tag him back since this is a simple game of tag.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

haha look at that guys shirt! what's wrong with it? i don't know.. nothing i guess

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops