What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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this kid named terry stockton thought it was funny to get someone in the ankle lace then the kid got up and pucnched him in the face so hard he had a seizure

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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roses are red violets are indigo

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

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NASCAR

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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A fat African a rich mexican and a gay guy jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The gay guy because fat Africans and rich Mexicans don't exist

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why was the gay person gay? he liked penis in his bum.

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What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

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Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

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roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

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How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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Where's my tractor?

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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