What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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who's a slut... you're mom

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops