Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's old and baggy? An old bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did Bob want for dinner? A: Cheese Burger, Fries, Coke, No Beverage

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Asian person drove home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops