What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How are baseball and the holocaust similar? They're both games, except for the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man walks into a bar and was arrested because it wasn't a bar it was a bank and he shot and killed 4 people during the armed robbery

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: why did the boy fall down when he was walking home? A: he was murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -4

an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Half life 3 confirmed

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops