A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Check out our iPhone App!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops