- Anti Joke

ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? "The Sky is that same reddish gray" Lance the chicken Thought to himself as he looked out into the busy intersection of Franklin and 4th....The city was more bustling that day then it had previously been the week before..."Maybe its because its friday..another weekend of family fun i guess" Lance said to himself...but then he remembered it was only tuesday..the days have all meshed together like some kind of various meats thrown together last second in an omelet...As lance looked into the stream of cars he wondered if somewhere..in some alternate dimension or some far away planet..that he could be riding in one of those cars..filled with his wife..his kids and all the happiness that you could fit into a tiny 4 door... But in between the dazzling stream of colours he could see a figure..staring right back at him..the figure was of another chicken..But a gruesome sorrowing excuse for a chicken..But something about that estranged being brought him somewhere////brought him to a place he never wanted to think about..he looked into the sky hoping to break eye contact..but instead was thrown into a turmoil of hate, regret and sorrow.. He looked down at his wedding ring..now only a piece of gold and silver..meaningless. "How Could I have done that to the one I loved the most...I made a promise to protect her"....he still remembers her last words to him..the breath she whispered to him moments before she past.."We live as slaves, to love what god takes away"...the one thing Lance Remembers most about that day was the obtuse shade of the sky..That Reddish Gray..It was almost as if the sky was red with his anger at the world...They Had just started their life together...not even 2 hours after she had been so violently ripped from his heart..he began returning to the drugs, sex and abuse that she saved him from...or tried to save him from..looking back at it//he tried filling that hole in his heart with whatever he could find..until his search lead him to that intersection..the intersection of Franklin and 4th...the day was growing old.... and his shadow growing long..soon the traffic began to to dwindle and he finally saw the figure..He finally saw what he had become..in the reflection of an adjacent building..he finally saw what society has made him...a monster...he never thought it would've came to this..everyone has plans for their lives..until they get hit. what is life without a purpose? what is purpose without love? Tormented by the monsters and demons of his past...he took one last look into the sky...closed his eyes.. and blindly walked into the now busy intersection..hoping to find peace...on the Other Side.....

test test

I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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