Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a black man did not eat chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a dyslexic made a dessert. it was a bit dry.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops