A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why did the black man buy ten packets of Kool-Aid at the supermarket? Because it is a refreshing beverage that many individuals enjoy drinking.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops