Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

Why are Black Guys Black? Migration and adaptation to the harsh heat of the southern Sahara Desert. DUH.

What do you can a preschool on fire? A very dangerouse situation

yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

What's the difference between a Chinese guy and a bucket of fried chicken? There are numerous differences.

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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