How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

What do you get if you cross a egg and toast? Egg n soldiers.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?' The horse says "I was just diagnosed with testicular cancer."

Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

what shoes do pedafiles wear White vans

Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

Women can vote? wtf

Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

what do u say to a girl after you have sex with her? i like cheese

"Knock knock," "Who's there?" "Black man," "Black man who?" "Gimme yo money!"

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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