Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blind man walks into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing, shit went down so bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock? Whos there? a questionable person. What? exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

thumb_up thumb_down -2

did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hey, do you wanna hear a joke? A joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops