What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

Your life

Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

hi mom

What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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