- Anti Joke

A baby seal walks into a club.

You know what's funnier than 24? 25

man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

shut up elliot

3 brothers Mohammed, Ahmed and Saahad were on the 09:25 flight from Tehran to New York. They each only carried a rucksack each and a one way ticket. They are Syrian refugees and their parents are dead.

Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

Gus's mom

What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

how do u get to your favorite chinese restaurant? wok.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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