What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

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A boy with one arm walks into a rock climbing facility and quickly realizes that his dream of being a rock climber is impossible because he is blind.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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why was the toddler sad? he was diagnosed with cancer after his dog was put down because it raped and murdered his parents

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops