How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

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Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What is cowboy say

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- Knock knock - Who's th.....AIDS

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

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"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

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What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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What did Jean Luc Picard say to Data when he saw a broken Janome Overlocker? Make it Sew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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