My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

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Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops