roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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10inch nice

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ask me if im a boy are you a boy? none of your buisness.

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops