how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

Joesph Triphook.

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

pull my finger (farts)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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