Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down -5

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Bad grammers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops